FatherSon Ai
by NilaSagol
Summary: When Chi-Chi dies, Gohan goes into denial and instantly hates Goku. Things get harder and harder to deal with as time goes on for Goku and Gohan, Gohan also hides things from Goku that'll shock Goku. Can feelings be set aside or will it tear them apart?
1. Chapter 1

_****_

Chapter 1- "Death's Shadow"

"Gohan, please?!?!" Goku begged, something was obviously going on at the Son house. It had been three since the day Chi-Chi had died. No one spoke of it anymore. It bothered Gohan that's why, it had been two years since then. He was now 16 almost 17. He wanted nothing more to do with Goku.

"No, Dad!" Gohan growled, "I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to talk about **_"it"_**"

"Come on, Gohan. It doesn't have to...."

"Shut-up, Dad! I told you to get off the subject!"

"Gohan, I'm all you have."

Gohan got up from the table and slammed his room door. He couldn't possibly be happy with everything that has happened. He just felt so alone now that Goku had to be a full time dad, he couldn't be a full time dad. He had fights to fight and places to go, that's how Gohan remembered it. He always had somewhere to go and Goten ended up meeting him late in life because of it.

Goku had no choice, he was a fighter for life and that was every Saiyans promise: That they would do fighting until they died. That was for life.

Goku looked at Goten who frowned, "I miss mom......I wish she was still here, dad. It's lonely without her."

Goku sighed, "Me too, It's so hard without, Chi-Chi. The meals just aren't the same...."

Goku went back to the kitchen and burned his ramen. He just couldn't stop thinking about Gohan. Gohan took it so hard and went into denial for months then he just withdrew from everyone around him. Even Piccolo couldn't get through to him, it was just too hard to try. Gohan was just too unstable to think or to act, he took the death so hard and Goku just thought he would wait it out.

Gohan appeared in the kitchen.

"Dad, why did you want me to be a fighter?" Gohan asked a hot question, Goku didn't know how to respond to it, "Did you force me, or did I choose?"

Goku smiled, "Well, I wanted you to...."

"Bullshit....." Gohan spat, "Bullshit, dad!"

"Gohan, you're a great fighter." Goku smiled, "You've come such a long way...."

"Dad! Stop, just stop, okay?!?!" Gohan slammed the table, "God, ever since mom died...."

Goku sighed sadly, this wasn't the time for his happy-go-lucky attitude at all. This just wasn't going to be easy. The death took it's toll on everyone, Goten was always confused, Gohan was always mad or in denial all the time, and Goku didn't know how to act or just acted like nothing ever happened. It was three different emotions going on at the same time and it caused a lot of tension with Gohan and Goku.

Gohan looked up at his father, "She died, dad. She killed herself...."

Goku sighed sadly, "I know, Gohan....I can't just give up, I have to be strong for you and Goten..."

"Dad! Just shut-up!" Gohan felt the tears coming out, "DAMN IT! Why do I have to go through all this crap?!?!"

"Gohan...."

Gohan ran upstairs and slammed his door. He just didn't want to deal with Goku anymore than he had too. The chain was already set off as Goten reacted with his ear shattering screams for cries. He wasn't doing any better than Gohan at this time.

"MOMMIE! MOMMIE!" Goten cried, "I want my MOMMIE!" Goten sniffled, "Mommie...."

Goku got him on his knee and tried to rock Goten, "Goten....Please.....Stop crying.....Look..." Goku got out a bag of candy, "Look what I got you."

Goten saw the bag and slapped it out of Goku's hands, "NO! NO!" Goten fell to the floor and screamed, he ran upstairs to his room with Goku chasing him, "Leave me alone, dad!"

The door slammed in Goku's face. He just guessed his sons needed time alone. He went downstairs and tried to clean up the kitchen and living room to get his mind off the anger. He just looked around and tried to think over what happened. As a fighter, he tried to move on when things were hard. How could he when his wife had just died? Chi-Chi was gone and never coming back.

He just couldn't go to bed that day. He went to bed without the love of his life. He would have insomina for the rest of the week due to it. He just couldn't sleep without knowing that Chi-Chi was right next to him, nestled right against his chest. She wasn't there anymore, all that was there was....nothing.

He could see it in his head. The way the look when he found her. It was evening, Gohan had gone out with friends, and Goten was over Trunks's house. He was coming up the stairs when he saw Chi-Chi on the floor of the bathroom. He stood over her as he waited and smiled, he thought it was a game that Chi-Chi had made to surprise him, he knew it was their anniversary. He waited and waited for Chi-Chi to jump up and surprise him. It never happened.

He hair was out perfectly, not in her usual bun. Goku turned her over and saw the blood from the knife and pill bottles scattered all over. She had taken pills to overdose, she resorted to the knife because they weren't quick enough. The knife finished her. Goku began to shake, her lifeless body was cold and numb. He waited for hours.

He continued to wait. He loved her, he wouldn't move from that spot until Gohan and Goten came home later.

Goku collasped to the floor and began to mourn. He just didn't know what to do without Chi-Chi. Without her, the house couldn't run. She kept it running all the time. The tears forced their way out of Goku's eyes as he cried and cried, he fell to the floor again and his cries turned into shaking cries. He wanted Chi-Chi to be there to make it all go away.

Goku continued to cry mournfully, _'Chi-Chi.....W-Why did you.........leave?'_

He looked up. As a fighter, you were supposed to move on when it was tough. Goku couldn't, he lost something so dear to him. He felt that moving on caused more harm than good.

The tears continued to fall. Goku wanted the pain to go away.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2- "How To Understand"_**

Goku opened the fridge and took inventory on everything inside. He was making a shopping list for Gohan to go shopping with. It was Gohan's turn to go shopping. Next week, it was Goten's turn. Goten sat on the floor with building blocks and cars as he smashed the same tower down over and over again until he got bored and went to a Sonic video game. Goku looked at the clock, it was about nine-thirty in the morning. Gohan hadn't moved from his room.

Goku knocked on the door, "Gohan. It's your turn to do groceries."

".....I'll get up when I feel like it, dad." Gohan spat, "I'll be getting groceries at eleven-thirty."

Goku sighed, "Ok....Make sure you do it, okay?"

Goku walked sluggishly downstairs. He didn't get any sleep for about a week straight. He just couldn't without Chi-Chi being there to say goodnight or to kiss him on the cheek when it was morning. She was never going to be there again. Goku continued downstairs until he reached the couch and just laid there as he flipped through the the TV channels. Nothing was on. Same shows repeated and same soap operas over and over again. He just sighed and watch an old TV show.

Goten got in the couch with him and watched. He turned to Goku, "Dad? Why is Gohan always upset? He's not that fun to be around anymore...."

Goku sighed, "I wish I knew. I know the death of your mother did it, but what else could it be?"

Goten sighed with boredom, "There's nothing to do, same thing everyday. I'm going over Trunks's house, be back at two, ok, dad?"

Goten closed the door behind him. Goku wished Goten didn't leave. He was stuck with Gohan. His older son who hated him with a passion and turned into an angst teenager that hated life. Goku was too tired to get and see if Gohan would wake up earlier to get the groceries. He manged to get up to the stairs when Gohan met him there with a glare. Goku frowned, why was his older son like this? What made him so unhappy? It couldn't only be the death of Chi-Chi, it had to be something else. What was it?

Goku struggled to figure it out. How would he find it out?

Gohan glared, "Dad, I'm going out. See you at five or whatever time I feel like coming back. "

"What about the groceries? Who's going to get them?" Goku asked, "Do I have to go again, Gohan? I'm too tired to go now."

Gohan growled, "Get the damn groceries! If you don't, you'll starve everyone!"

Goku sighed, "What happened to the good times, Gohan? I loved the good times."

Gohan lost his nerve, "There are no good times anymore.....We've seen the last of them basically."

Goku let out a sad sigh, "I am depressed, Gohan. This is probably the worst I've been in such a long while...I can't function everyday, Chi-Chi was the powerhouse of this house."

Gohan was sick of his father going on, "You have to be both, dad. You have to be mom and dad. We don't have mom anymore....That's what a single parent does."

"I don't know how to be a single parent...." Goku admitted his biggest fault, "Chi-Chi and I worked together to raise you and Goten. It's so much harder on my own."

Gohan growled, "Use the prize money I earned last time! There should be enough Zeni in it to cover the groceries. Now I'm going out!"

Goku uttered a sentence, "Gohan, stay away from drugs, alright?"

"Like I do drugs....What's wrong with you dad?"

"I just have this feeling you are."

"Shut-up, you're wrong, alright?!?! Now, let me get through!"

Goku refused to move, "Gohan, are you doing them?"

"Like I have time to answer that now! Get out of the way!"

Gohan took off down the road and went out of sight. Goku felt so powerless. He just shrugged and went back to making ramen and then sitting down to another boring show of the science channel. He wasn't in the mood to learn about Newton's law and shut it off. He just laid there. Alone. Alone, in his own misery and sadness. What could he do now? Goku didn't have a schedule anymore. It was basically mope and eat, that was it. He hadn't trained in weeks now. It was something he either did or didn't.

"There's always tommorow." Goku said aloud, "Then again, I'm probably not doing it."

Goku laid there with his head on his hand. The house was dead, it was so dark. Death creeped in and remained there to haunt him. He just didn't know how to deal with when he died so many times himself. He should know what it's like yet, he didn't know. He lost so many around him. He needed so much comfort yet he couldn't get it. Without a wife, his marriage was over. Sorry just couldn't bring back Chi-Chi.

A knock was heard at the door, as Goku fell against the door, "Who is it?"

The whimpering of Goten could be heard through the door, "Dad? I-I want to come inside!"

Goten knocked the door down as he jumped into Goku's arms. Goten began to wail, he could cry to get attention and to get what he wanted but this time, something happened. Something was troubling the youngest Son. He continue to sob and hugged his father tight.

Goku smiled and petted Gohan, "What's wrong, Goten? Did something happen at Trunk's house?"

"No, Gohan did it......."

Goku's eyes widened, "What did Gohan do? Was it something bad?"

Goten looked up and nodded, "He showed me a vodka bottle.....and then he said I was a dummy."

Goku shook his head in disappointment, "He's drinking......How long, Goten?

"Um.....Let's see....one...two...two and half months now."

Goku hit his back against the wall. He knew something was wrong and he was right. He was angry at himself for not acting on his gut instincts eariler, he was serious. He would deal with Gohan when he got back. He wasn't too happy that Gohan decided to hide his pain with drinking or worse with drugs. Gohan needed to let out the feelings he was feeling instead of hiding which he was doing.

Goku went to the phone and called Gohan's cellphone.

"Gohan, we're going to have a serious talk when you come home."

Gohan angrily cursed on the phone and yelled.

Goku wasn't going to take that, "You know what? I've had it with your attitude and your poor judgement! You have a little brother who needs you, and I need you too. You're the oldest of this family."

Gohan still continued to go on and on about his problems and other issues.

"I don't care about what other problems you have, family first, Son Gohan! You're grounded for a week!"

Goku slammed the phone as Goten continued to cry. Goku rocked him gently and made sure Goten got the proper care. Goku was starting gain control of the house now, he was getting his strength back a little bit at a time. He just needed to work on getting his strength back. Goten stopped sniffling and panicked, he knew he just screwed over Gohan but it was the right thing to do. Had he not said anything, things would've gotten worse.

"Daddy, Gohan swore to me that I shouldn't tell but I had to tell you. It was bad." Goten looked down, "I'm a bad little brother."

Goku petted him, "No, you did the right thing. You're looking out for Gohan. He needs to learn to be a better brother to you."

Goten smiled, "It was a good thing?"

"Yes, so help yourself to two cookies in that jar, alright?"

"YAY!"

Goku sighed in frustration, "Gohan needs to be dealt with right away, I can't take his behavior anymore. This family needs to stick closer together now that Chi-Chi is no longer here."

Goten munched on his cookie, "But dad, Gohan doesn't listen to you. He just does whatever he wants."

Goku smiled and petted Goten, "Well, can't two people play that game? I'm sure I can."

Goten and Goku began laughing until the phone rang and Goten went to answer it. Gohan. His friends couldn't be taken anywhere and wanted Goku to drive them around all night. Goku picked up the phone.

"Gohan, you'll be walking to wherever you need to go...." Goku replied, "You already are in trouble, I could double your punishment you know...."

Gohan continued yelling and Goku hung up the phone. Goku was tired of Gohan's rage and decided to leave him where he is. Goku took out a board game and put in front of Goten.

"So, are you up for Monopoly or what?" Goku asked, "Let's play, Goten."

Goten smiled, "Okay!"

Goku shrugged, "It's been awhile since I played but I'm sure I can figure it out."

Goten looked up at his dad and smiled, "Dad.....Thanks for understanding."

Goku smiled, "It's okay, Goten. I have to understand, don't I?"

Goten smiled and hugged his father, it was almost like Goku was fully back. He wasn't. He was trying to but it wouldn't be an easy road for him neither. He had Gohan to worry about and he was on the brink of depression. How he would manage would be another strength he would have to find without Chi-Chi.

* * *

_**That's Chapter 2, Please R&R.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- "Goku's Redemption"**

_'Dad, why aren't you getting up?!?! You always stay in bed!'_

_'Daddy, you know you have to bring me to school. I can't be late again.'_

_'Dad, I'm tired of doing the fucking groceries! Do them yourself!'_

_'Daddy, Gohan won't stop drinking. Can't you do something about this?'_

Goku quickly woke up. The voices kept him all night every night. He had turned insomniatic after about two months. His sons voices kept ringing and ringing inside his head, as he went to go make breakfast for them. It was about six in the morning, as he stumbled into the kitchen and struggled to find any eggs to do omelets. He found none, and decided to make oatmeal with bacon instead. He knew it was the third day in a row for oatmeal but he had no choice, that's all he could make right now that was easy.

Goten was the first to wake up but the first to fight with Gohan. The two bickered on and on until Goten fell downstairs and started wailing as Goku quickly ran to him. Gohan was in a very bad mood but not over him. Goku could smell alcohol but he wasn't focused on that problem right now. His younger son had a bad fall and he needed to attend to him first. Gohan just walked aside and began making his own breakfast.

Goten looked at his father, "Dad! Oatmeal again? Don't you know how to make something else?"

Goku sighed, "No. We ran out of cereal, I'm sorry, Goten."

Gohan looked at him, "Dad. How long are you going to stay like this? Eventually, you have to get over mom's death. Time just can't stop because someone has died."

Gohan was right, "I just miss your mother so much. She was the powerhouse of this family and it looks like it's my turn to do the same."

Gohan grabbed his head, "Damn it, I'm so hungover from last night..."

Goku's eyes went wide, "You were drinking? What kind of drink was it?"

Gohan smiled a little, "Um...Vodka I think.....Wait, why aren't you upset at me, Dad?"

Goku paused, "I'm not but I don't think you should be doing it. Trust me, I have had one friend go through rehab once or twice."

The bus horn beeped three times. Goku panicked to see Goten not dressed or even put together properly. He quickly went to his room got his clothes, put on mix matching socks, and put Goten on the bus with all his work in his bag. Goku sighed heavily as he started cleaning the kitchen up. Gohan still stood around and Goku looked at him very strangely.

"Hey, Gohan. Shouldn't be at school right now?" Goku's head went to the side, "Do you even have school?"

Gohan shook his head, "It's spring vacation for me, Dad. I have the week off."

Goku smiled nervously, "Oh...I didn't know that."

Gohan looked around, "I know you won't enjoy that will you?"

Goku didn't answer Gohan's question but it was kind of the truth. Him and Gohan were having Father/Son issues, but Goku didn't know how to address the problem. Gohan shrugged and decided to head back to his room to probably crash out until noon. Goku was just by himself again. He hated being by himself, it meant more time to reflect on Chi-Chi's death and how depressed he still kind of was. He already started remembering and he just zoomed on Chi-Chi's dead body with her long black hair, scattered everywhere with the pill bottles laying everywhere. Goku was scarred for life.

Goku looked at Gohan who was just acting bitter, "Hey, did I ever tell you I went to Thailand once? I went for spring break."

Gohan's eyes widened, "You? You went to Thailand? I never knew that!"

Goku stared at his oldest son, "Oh, yeah. Me and my buddies went all over. We had all kinds of Thai food and we went training. I had so much fun. I have to bring you there. I even tried Thai Tempura, it had crispy oysters, crispy vegetables, even a pancake was in there....I would love to eat that again."

Gohan cringed, "I can't imagine a seafood with a pancake."

Goku laughed and continued to laugh as Gohan just stood around. Gohan wanted to know what was so funny about the pancake being involved. Goku only laughed harder when Gohan kept going on and on about the pancake. Goku stopped laughing after awhile and calmed down.

"Oh yes.....You won't even believe this either...." Goku went into an almost whisper, "I went to...Russia."

Gohan didn't believe it, "You did not go to Russia. Dad...That's bull...."

Goku brought out a Russian flag, and few other souvenirs, "Yeah...I went to St. Petersburg and Moscow...I'm just sorry I went when winter is harsh over there. Trust me, I was lost for days due to how I only knew three words in that language. I ended up on a fishing boat for days."

Gohan snickered and then exploded, "How the hell did that happen? How did you end up on one of those?

Goku shrugged, "I have no idea...I just found myself there....All the sailors didn't know one lick of english and I think we may have argued for three days straight..."

Gohan laughed. He seemed to be enjoying all his dad's tales about his vacations. It seemed to heal the pain of the lost of Chi-Chi. Gohan continued laughing. Even though Goku was lost half the time, he still enjoyed his two week stay in Russia. He had won the trip after entering the local eating contest in Dragon World. He was still undefeated for five years running, Gohan almost puked to see him eat so much and no have any stomach aches either.

Goku changed the subject right back to the drinking, Gohan wasn't in the mood to answer Goku but he tried his best to deal with the questions.

"How long....Gohan?"

Gohan shrugged, "Almost a year now....I think. I've been wasted before, Dad. It's nothing new."

Goku shook his head, "You all say that. It's so dangerous to black out anywhere, Gohan. Just make sure your friends are with at all times, ok?"

Gohan was puzzled, "Aren't you going to throw a knife at me or something? Come on, Dad. This makes mom look easy."

Goku shrugged, "I'm not a discipline person. Your mother is. I guess I'm the easy one, huh?"

Gohan felt bad, "Dad. This isn't right. I should have a punishment or something. Take away the car, take away my cellphone, take away my computer...Come on dad, this isn't right."

Goku sighed, "Well, I think you'll see it through. Don't worry about it."

Gohan looked oddly at Goku, "Dad, what drugs have you been trying and where are they?"

"Oh, the antidepressants...The doctor said I should be taking those you know....I just feel I don't need them...Nah, I don't have to take those..."

Gohan was shocked, "Dad. The doctor-"

"I know what the doctor said but I don't think I need those pills."

"Dad."

"No, Gohan. I don't pills to be happy, they don't work anyway."

"The doctor-"

"I don't want to listen to the doctor, Gohan. I dont' need any more medication."

"Alright, Dad. If that's how you feel."

Goku smiled. He threw out the pills as he went to go walk outside among the rose gardens that Chi-Chi had planted when they had gotten married. He enjoyed being in that garden. He looked at the petals as they seemed to be wilting and losing their bright colors.

"It's too bad Chi-Chi got so busy and couldn't take care of them anymore." Goku began watering them, "It would make her happy if I took care of them."

* * *

**_That's Chapter 3. Please R&R._**


End file.
